It Could Have Been The Other End

I walk back into my house from a jaunt to the store and see the oral thermometer on the kitchen counter.

Me:  Who’s sick?

11 year old:  Nobody.

Me:  Why is the thermometer on the counter?

11 year old:  Oh, we were making cotton candy and had to find out the temperature.

Me:  How did that go for you?

11 year old:  Not too well.

Me:  We’ll have a talk about cooking thermometers.  At least next time someone is sick the oral one will taste good.

Bobby Flay Doesn't Stand A Chance

I walked through the kitchen and saw my 12 year old making her birthday cupcakes.  That’s right, she makes her own. 

Apparently, I don’t do it right.  Just like I don’t pick out the “right kind” of clothes for the teenager.  Whatever, I think everyone should wear yoga pants all the time.  

Anyway, Audrey is cracking the egg with one hand!!!!!  It was a super proud Mama moment!!!  Those Iron Chef marathons are paying off.  I asked her how long it took her to learn how to crack eggs with one hand and she told me she did it the first time.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED……. I just finished cleaning egg off the floor, the counter, the ceiling (yah, I don’t have a delicate touch), Emily’s face, and my clothes. 

CHALLENGE FAIL.

I Hold Your Future In My Hands

Me:  You need to clean your room or you’re going to lose screen time.

Liv:  You need to stop bugging me about my homework or I won’t give you grandchildren.

I’d love to say, “Wow, she’s 8 and already knows how to push all my buttons, but in actuality, she’s had that ability since I first laid eyes on her.”

We’ll call this a draw (She will be cleaning her room.  I still win.).

Snipped

I walked into the kitchen tonight and Aud and Em were in the family room.  Aud was watching television and Em was studying for finals, but keeping an ear toward the show.  I heard Em ask Aud what was going on. 

“He was going to get spayed,” Aud told her.

“If he’s a guy he’ll get neutered,” Em responded.

I asked the girls what show they were watching and they told me “Modern Family”.  I then asked them who was going to get neutered. 

“The weird guy married to the blonde lady,” they both said. 

“Neutered?  He’s going to get neutered?” I asked. 

“Yah, but he didn’t.”

“Neutered.”  <shakes head>

Flag Me Down

Ok, I stay at home with the kids, but I’ve been thinking about getting a part time job because I get super bored while they are in school.  I also get very depressed if I’m not around people.  I would like this job to be flexible so I can take them to school, pick them up and be their slave for the rest of the day.  I would also like to be able to watch them during the summer because they will kill each other without supervision and I’m too cheap to put them all in summer camps.

Sooo…..

I think I came up with the perfect job for me.  Picture me doing this…. I drop the kids off at school and then I slap one of those big magnetic signs to both sides of my van.  The sign will read “Taxi Cab Mom”.  I’ll advertise, hang out at the airport, try to pick people up at bus stops, you know, taxi things.  I think this is perfect b/c I’ll be out and about and around people.  I already envision myself chatting with all my customers and they’ll love it because I’m super friendly, which means they’ll tip well.  I’m sure there may be folks that don’t like constant talking and when they ask me to stop talking I’ll start humming b/c this job is all about me and I’m doing it to talk to people, so if you don’t want to listen to me talk I’m going to hum.  I’m thinking I’ll hum Christmas songs all year long, because they get stuck in your head easily and that will annoy the hell out of them.  Stop harshing on my wants and needs people, just make me happy and let me talk.  I think this will get me many repeat customers and lots of good word of mouth advertising.

I’ve also decided that once I’m a small business owner the kids, including my own, will have to start paying me to take them to and from school.  Am I right or what? 

What do you think?  Isn’t this the perfect job for me?

I Hope It's Not Zelda

On the radio this morning I heard about new video games being released soon.  I’m already imagining that whatever gaming system will carry these particular games will have sales out the butt.  I guess technology has finally reached the point where games are very interactive. Soon they are launching new games in which you wear special glasses and then play an “intimate” game.  I’m thinking “X-box Widow” will take on a new meaning.   There are already “porn parodies” of video games, so this will allow you to not only watch all the action, but also feel like you are in a video game.  I’m not sure, but being part of a video game might be the biggest thrill.   

They might never come out of the man cave.

Peek-A-Boo

So I’m a chicken shit and really didn’t think this through.  I’m doing a little research and I went to Google the top scariest movies of all time.  It didn’t even enter my brain that the first page that came up would be filled with horrifyingly scary faces.  It’s 2am.  How am I supposed to sleep with that vision sizzled into my brain?  I’m an idiot.  Also, I have no idea what the movies are.  I’m going to have to wait for Thomas to get up in the morning and read the titles to me.  I guess I’ll watch “The Wedding Singer” until I’m in my happy place.

My Ideal Reader

Every time I write a new post I ask Thomas if he has read it and, if so, did he “like” it.  I ask him this ALL the time!!!  I have once again found something that is slowly driving him insane.  It’s so easy. 

Stephen King says you need to write for your “Ideal Reader”; Thomas is mine.  We have come to the agreement that he will read what I write and then click the “like” button, we mostly agree to this so I will stop bugging him so often because then I know he has read it. 

So now when I talk to him about the post and ask him if he REALLY likes it he just smiles and tells me I’ll never know because he’s supposed to click “like” no matter what.  WTH?  He can’t do that.  I think he has found something that is slowly driving me insane.  Do you like THIS post, Thomas?  Do ya?  Bite me!

Driver's Ed?

I’m pretty sure that when you are driving down the road toward me in MY lane you are the one doing something wrong.  Do not swerve around me and then look at me like I’m the idiot.

Em’s response:  Maybe they’re from England.  (I think she seriously meant this and wasn’t just making a joke.  Which makes it even better.)

Love that kid.

I'm Not A Fool. I Have Four Wheels.

Aud and I stopped on Friday to p.u. some supplies for our “end of the world party”.  The grocery store (Schnuck’s) is right by the alcohol store (Friar Tuck’s).  I gave Thomas a call and asked him if he needed me to pick something up.  Of course, yes!  He asked for some “Hop Devil”, which I think is appropriate for “an end of the world” party.  It hit me right then that aud was making a cake called “death by chocolate”.  We weren’t even trying to be this awesome!!!!

I sent aud into the store and then looked toward Friar Tuck’s.  it looked soooo far away, maybe 35 yards.  Yes, I drove to it.  And you know what?  My parking space rocked!!!  And you know what’s even better?  My parking spot when I drove back the 35 yards to the grocery store was an even better spot than before I left.  It might have been the “expectant mother’s” space.  You see, the sign was between two spaces so I decided it went with the space on the left (you know, road signs usually refer to the lane to the left of it) and I was parking in the one on the right, so it’s all good.

Why did I drive you ask?  Well, it was blowing some mighty cold wind, and I might have been wearing my birks, and I might have been wearing those without socks, and I might have not wanted to put my jacket on b/c I was only going to take it off 2 minutes later and that makes me angry b/c I have to carry it all through the store, and I might have not wanted to carry the two 6 packs that far b/c the cardboard handles get uncomfortable after awhile, and I might have been carrying my big purse that has everything I own in it and carrying that and the beer would have made me off balance and I would have never made it back to my car b/c I would have been walking in circles, and it might have been b/c I am lazy and just didn’t want to.  Who knows?  It’s a mystery.

Do you know what’s even better?.  Today Thomas and I made the same stop.  First we went into Friar Tuck’s to get the beer and then we were heading over to the grocery store.  He put the beer in the back of the van and I climbed into the passenger seat.  He asked me what I was doing b/c Schnuck’s was right there.  I explained to him that it was too far.  Anyway, he made me walk, something about being lazy. Whatever.  I was trying like crazy to think of all the reasons we shouldn’t walk.  I was listing off all the things that we would need, and since it was me I would find even more things I need that I didn’t know I needed right then.  Guess who was sent out to move the van closer?  That’s right, me!!!!  OMG, right as am writing this I just realized that I had to walk there and back and he only had to walk there.  WTH?  Thomas – 1, Krista – 0.  I hate it when he wins.

Do You Want Me To Slap Your Hand?

The best part of the Christmas leftovers in my fridge is that only 2 out of the 5 of us like the 7-layer salad.  She’s 8 so she doesn’t remember to ask for it and I’m selfish so I don’t “remember” to offer it.  The only time she’ll ask for any is when she sees me getting some for myself.  So I wait until she’s preoccupied before digging in.  I’m a giver.  It is Christmas, you know?

What is your favorite Christmas leftover and do you try to hide it too?

Stack 'Em High

I finally think I might have won a challenge against Thomas.

Thomas loves to cook, fancy meals, however, I still get the majority of the dinners during the week (you know, the ones nobody likes).  Our deal is on Saturdays and when we have company, he cooks and I clean up and we get some quality time in the kitchen.

This is where I think I win.  In order for us to have an awesome dinner he has to keep cooking, but when I don’t want to clean anymore I can just walk away and start playing on my computer, for as long as I want.

Unlike most people, I can go to bed with my dishes unwashed, and get up and go about the next day, and the next night and the next day.  I just start pulling out the paper plates and plastic silverware.

All I Want For Christmas....

I’m starting to think that each one of my children is taking on a bit of my personality.

Aud had been super excited about the Christmas present she bought for me this year.  She had been laughing and laughing all week thinking about giving it to me.  She often showed it to me and proudly told me over and over that she used an entire roll of tape and couldn’t wait to see me try to unwrap it.  By the look of it, I knew it was most likely a CD.  The question was, what CD would make her laugh maniacally whenever she would talk about it?  It made me nervous.  The only thought I had that eased my mind a little was that there are very few CD players in our house and I can get rid of those without anyone knowing.  She was elated the day before Christmas when she discovered that the new van had a CD player.  What?!?!  I did not know that!!!!  Great, now I’m stuck with whatever lovely music will be coming out of the speakers, reverberating throughout the van and tainting it with God only knows what.  I’ll probably have to do a cleansing and play the Sirius 80s station non-stop, even through the night, so my van will stop crying.

Christmas day arrived and Aud was bouncing up and down.  I opened my present and it was a CD of the “Alvin and The Chipmunks Christmas Edition”.  A little background…..way back when, I’d say 14 years, I bought this exact album b/c it is awesome!!!!  I remember it from when I was a kid and thought it was so great and it always made me think of Christmas.  You know how kids get fixated on something?  That stupid CD didn’t come out of my van for 13 years.  The rule in the beginning was that we could only start listening to it once Thanksgiving day hit until New Year’s Day.  Unfortunately, that rule wasn’t followed very well once we started letting everyone have a chance to pick the music we would listen to on drives around town.  Therefore, we listened to it ALL the time, every season of the year.  Last year it died a natural death, lots and lots of scratches so that there were only a few songs left that we could listen to all the way through.  Thank you, Jesus!

I was chatting with Thomas this morning and asked him how excited Audrey was about getting me that CD.  He said she thought it was so funny b/c she knew I would hate it and it would drive me crazy.  Yep, that’s pretty much the reasoning I use when I pick out presents.   It is funny!  I’m kinda proud that she’s taken on my present giving attitude.

This was the best part, I think.  They didn’t have time to get the CD from Amazon and mail it in time for Christmas (w/o paying enough money to put the kids through college).  So, of course, stupid technology, they downloaded it and burned it to a CD.  We were sitting here on Boxing Day putting together a puzzle (I’m was playing on the computer next to them) and Aud remembered the CD (I wasn’t going to remind her) and ran to find it to put some good Christmas music on.  I was crossing my fingers, holding them over my head praying the CD didn’t work.  It didn’t work!  There was an error!  It hadn’t burn onto the disc correctly!  Hell, yah!!!  Best! Present! Ever!  I went smugly back to playing on my computer as Aud took off to the downstairs bathroom and Thomas took off to the upstairs bathroom, I thought.  I was wrong.

A bit later, everyone made it back to the puzzle.  Thomas casually asked Audrey to play some music on my Ipod.  Soon the Christmas lyrics of “All I want for Christmas”, sung by The Chipmunks, was coming out of the player.  What?!?  Stupid Thomas, he downloaded it onto my Ipod and I can take that EVERYWHERE!!!!   Audrey was about peeing herself and Thomas was chuckling and my shoulders were starting to tighten and my jaw was starting to clench.  They were all singing along and laughing and pretty soon I started singing along and we were all laughing.  Well, I had one year off from that CD and now it was back in my life.  It was a reminder of good times with the kids singing their hearts out when the Christmas season lasts all year long!  Best! Present! Ever!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61rZVpZ7YwA

News, News, and News

Every morning I sit down at my computer, check my email, check Facebook and then get caught up on the world news by reading my favorite news source.  Thomas and I have different views about what constitutes a “good” news source.  When I’m finished reading my “news” I feel lighter and my day looks brighter.  Right before I climb into bed I check my “news” again so that my thoughts will be peaceful before falling asleep.

I’ve compiled the current headlines from three popular news sites at the same time. 

Fox News Headlines:

Get Ready to Figure YOUR Fiscal Fix

Starbucks Asking Baristas to Write Political Message on Cups

Benghazi Backpedal?  Official Who ‘Resigned” Reportedly on State Payroll

Eerie Surprise:  Purported Chinese Labor Camp Plea Found in US

Sonar Search:  Divers Look for Students Who Vanished in Maine

Outrage After NY Paper Names Gun Permit Holders

Huffington Post Headlines:

Geithner:  5 Days ‘Til Debt Limit

GOP Balks in Fiscal Cliff Showdown

House Will Not Be in Session Thursday

GOP Pollster:  The NRA Isn’t Listening

It’s A Nightmare: America’s Mental Health Crisis

Philadelphia Mayor:  NRA Armed Guard Proposal A ‘Completely Dumbass Idea’

My Kind of Headlines:

Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon Share Their Family Holiday Photo

Pregnant Jessica Simpson Walks on the Beach in Hawaii

Miranda Cosgrove’s Surprise Christmas Gift:  A New Puppy!

Glee Creator Ryan Murphy is a Dad

Carly Rae Jepsen Splurges on Sentimental Christmas Gift for Her Dad

Katy Perry Shares Sultry Picture of John Mayer Dressed as Santa

As you can see, my news headlines leave you feeling lighter, mostly b/c your brain has floated out of your head, that’s neither here nor there.  I can’t wait to see Mariah and Nick’s photos b/c it will make me feel like I celebrated Christmas with them.  Wow, a walk on the beach in Hawaii!  I would have loved that when I was pregnant.  It would have probably helped with the morning sickness.  OMG!  A PUPPY!  Who doesn’t want a surprise puppy as a Christmas gift?  Seriously, next to dreaming about your wedding day, the puppy with a bow underneath the tree is what every girl has secretly dreamed of for a Christmas present.   I am so happy for Ryan Murphy.  He now has another tax right off.  A great way to end 2012!  A sentimental Christmas gift for her dad…..I got my Dad one too…redneck wine glasses (mason jars atop wine stems) and he loved it too, just like Carly’s dad loved his.  Sentimental gifts rock!!!

And finally, thank you Katy for sharing the special gift with us…John Mayer dressed as a naughty Santa.

My gift to you dear friends:

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20659712,00.html

I Know How To Save Money

Liv:  Mom, when my kids come over will you try not to smell?

Me:  What?  I smell?  I don’t smell.

Liv:  When you’re old you’ll smell.  All old people smell.

So I guess as long as I don’t smell than I’m not old.

Challenge:  Accepted.

When I walk through the halls of the Junior High and High school my kids attend it reeks.  I do not know how teachers put up with that smell every day.  A breath of fresh air must mean something more powerful to them than most of us.  For this sacrifice alone teachers earn their money.

Body odor starts at puberty and follows folks through all their years.  Kids get the talk at school and are sent home with samples of deodorant along with other hygiene items.  Whether or not they use them is another matter.  After doing a little math, I estimate that the average person will spend around $900 in deodorant throughout their life.

Here are my TMI questions:

Have you ever noticed that only one of your armpits has an odor?  Why is that, do you think?  Weird, huh?

Looks like I’ll be saving $450.

Also, one armpit that smells means I’m only half my age. It’s going to take a long time until I’m fully old.

It's Like Thomas Is Looking In A Mirror

Thomas was living on the edge tonight.  He introduced me to two of his colleagues that he admires greatly.  I did not disappoint him and waited a full 25 minutes before I told them my favorite word – vagina.  Thomas just shook his head.  Like he didn’t know that was going to come out. 

His friend, Jason, said he was quite surprised by me, because he expected to meet a Thomas with hair.  I am without a doubt, not a Thomas.  Who would want to be married to someone that was exactly like you?  I bring excitement to his life and he bails me out of jail…..mom, don’t worry….i wasn’t in jail….as far as you know.  Fun night!!!! 

Girls Will Be Boys

I swear I have boys.  

 I’ve had to drive with the windows down today and one of them keeps walking into the room I am in and leaving me a gift.  I threatened to put this on Facebook and my blog to get them to stop and they just laughed.  Well, here you go girls.  This is as close as I can get to putting a sign around your neck and making you stand on the corner.  I am that kind of mother.

The little one just said, “I think I crapped my pants.”  I just taught the girls a new word, “shart” and tomorrow I will probably be buying them new underwear.

The middle one just said, “You’ve got classy daughters.”

I Reclined On The Sofa

The English language is dumb.

I will go out of my way to rephrase a sentence so that I don’t have to figure out the correct word to use.  Just so you know, I rewrote this previous sentence three times before I considered it acceptable.  I’m still not sure if it is grammatically correct.

These are the following grammatical errors that give me a migraine:

Than vs. then

Who vs. that

Lie/Lay/Lying/Laying/Laid

Affect vs. effect

On accident vs. by accident

I would say the one I struggle with the most, and use the most often in sentences, is “than vs. then”.  I hate this one.  I cannot remember the rule.  EVER.

I’ve basically given up on getting that one correct.  So all you crazy grammar folks, you’re just going to have to suck it up.

However, while doing a bit of research on how to remember the rule, I came across a very simple trick.

I also find the whole “lay vs. lie” thing frustrating.  I do my most rewriting with these sentences.

For example:

I am going to lie/lay on the couch.  =  I am going to take a load off and rest my body on the couch.

He’s just lying/laying around all day.  =  He’s just hanging out playing video games all day.

I

John is the guy who always forgets his shoes, not the guy that always forgets his shoes.

Lie / Lay / Lying / Laying/Laid

This is my question for you….

Does something happen “by accident” or “on accident”?

I had someone correct me the other day, and since I always have to be right, I looked up the proper usage. Guess what?  I was right.  And so were they.  This is what I learned from “Grammar Girl” and I find it quite fascinating.

“Whereas on accident is common in people under 35, almost no one over 40 says on accident. Most older people say by accident. It's really amazing: the study says that “on is more prevalent under age 10, both on and by are common between the ages of 10 and 35, and by is overwhelmingly preferred by those over 35.  In addition, it seems to me that as those kids who say on accident grow up (some of whom are even unaware that by accident is an option, let alone the preferred phrase of grown-ups) on accident will become the main, accepted phrase. By that time, there won't be enough of us who say by accident left to correct them!

Which do you say and does it correlate to your age?

The Best Sin Of All

It was trivia night at church.  There must have been over 150 people.  The format was 10 subjects and 10 questions on each subject.  Of course they had the usual categories:  geography, sports, literature….  And since it is a catholic church there were questions about the catholic faith, lots of booze, and trying to bribe the priest and sisters on all the bible questions. 

The majority of us at the table were “cradle catholics”, so you would assume we would rock it…well…we scored 2/10 on the faith questions.  I have no idea how he knew this, but one of the guys knew the names of the three magi and how to spell them correctly.  Very impressive.  Without looking it up, do you know their names? 

The other one we got correct was the seven deadly sins.   For that one, we discussed all the murder scenes in the movie “7”, in detail.  We pounded out the first six, but couldn’t think of the last one.  My solo contribution to the entire game (100 questions) was the final sin.  I nailed it. 

What was it?

Where's The Ketchup

I’m sorry, but a French fry should NOT taste, in anyway, potato-ish.

There Really Is Only One Way

I always park in the second row when I pull into the parking lot of our grocery store.  Today there were no open spots.  I had to park down 4 more rows, which meant the closest door was on the left side of the building, not the normal right entrance that I always use.

You know what this means, right?  I was going backward through the store.  This really messes with your mind.  I’m not kidding.

I kept walking past the aisles that I needed to go down.  I was zig-zagging all over the place and I was getting super frustrated.  Finally, I got so fed up that I pushed all the way to the other end of the store so I could start from the correct door.  I even went out the door and came back in so that all was well with the world.  Who would start from the left anyway?  Obviously, the right entrance is the best!

One thing that I like to do when I walk through the grocery store is try to push my cart through all the narrow pathways.  I do this for two reasons:  #1 – to see if it will actually fit and #2 – to be totally impressed when it does fit.  Even when I smash the cart into the sides of the freezers and the poles it counts as still fitting.  I’m like a quality control tester. They should thank me and maybe put bumpers on the carts.

Clothing Optional

If you don’t take into consideration energy conservation or the utility bill, what temperature would you set the thermostat in your house during winter and summer?  Would they be the same for both seasons?  Also, do you have a different temperature for the day and the night?

The kids and Thomas have been complaining about it being cold in the house.  The other day Thomas took a look at the thermostat.

Thomas – “64 degrees?!?  Why is it only 64 degrees in this house?”

Me – “Obviously, because I’m hot.  If you’re cold you can put a sweater on.  I can only take off so many clothes.  Which reminds me, where are my clothes?  I’m starting to feel a little chill.”

I kid you not, I am often missing articles of clothing.  I can promise you one thing, the neighbor girl won’t come barging into the house unexpectedly again.  Lesson learned.

When you come to my home, you don’t ring the doorbell to let me know you have arrived, you ring the doorbell to let me know to put some clothes on, and I usually will. 

if I was going to be allowed to sit at the same table as my friends during church trivia night, I had to make a solemn vow to keep my shirt on.  I almost died, but I kept my promise.  You’re welcome, Becky and Laura.  You owe me a coke.

So, how hot/cold do you like it?

Someone Is Always Watching

It’s after midnight-thirty and I’m doing my nightly walk-thru before heading to bed.  I’m making sure the cats have food so they don’t wake up olivia by crawling all over her head; checking to see if the sliding glass door is locked with the stick in place; bringing glasses with liquids into the kitchen so the cats don’t dump them over; and checking that the garage doors are closed and the door between the house and the garage is locked.

All is in order.

I shut the final light off on the main floor and head upstairs.  I take a right at the first landing and lift my eyes.  Sitting cross-legged with her arms down to her sides, her crazy ass hair falling down around her naked body shielding the majority of her face, and her dull eyes looking at me is the 8 year old.

Me:  WTF???

Liv:  I can’t sleep.

Me:  Yah, well, I’ll probably never be able to sleep again.  You look like the creepy little girl out of every horror film and I need to go change my pants.

Are We There Yet?

How do you measure how long it will take to get from one place to another when driving in a vehicle?

Some people will use miles, “It’s about 6 miles down the road.”

Some people will use time, “It’ll take you about 10 minutes.”

I prefer to measure in time.  I am actually obsessed with this.  I need to know how long it takes to get anywhere I need to go, mostly because I need to make sure I have the kids in the car and out the door in order to be on time.

Whenever I leave somewhere I check out the clock to note the time and then drive to my destination.  When I check the time upon arrival I’m pissed because I’ve forgot my beginning time.  EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!!  This has been going on for years. 

I know, I know, get a piece of paper and a pen and write it down.

So that’s what I did yesterday.  You know what happened?  When I arrived at my destination I remembered, for the first time ever, my departure time.  That sucks. 

I really feel robbed. 

I had a problem, I thought of a solution, I used the solution, then I didn’t need the solution.

I'm No Ebert

First off, I apologize for how pathetic this is going to sound and for making some of you think poorly of me.  I am sorry.

Everybody has heard of Les Miserables.  I’ve heard it thrown around as a great novel and play, however, I did not know what the story was about. 

Thomas and I wanted to go to a movie this afternoon and I wanted to see Hansel and Gretyl beat up a bunch of witches, but, alas….  So I started looking into the other movies listed.  I had heard that Anne Hathaway was up for an Oscar for her performance in Les Miserables.  I like her, so that’s a possibility. 

I decided to do a little digging and see what Les Miserables was about.  Wow!  That is a great story!!!  Of course, Wikipedia is basically in outline form, but I’m thinking they could make this movie magical.  So my vote is for Les Mis.

We’re in the movie and the previews are rolling and Thomas leans over to me and asks, “You do know that this is a musical, right?”.

“Excuse me?  What?  I know that Anne Hathaway sings, but….”

“Yah, it’s a musical.  Good luck!”

Does he mean musical like “Grease” (loved this), “Sound of Music” (loved this), or “West Side Story” (loved this) where there is a lot of talking highlighted with music or does he mean “Dream Girls” musical?  Those girls NEVER stopped singing.

Well…..I believe the actors in Les Miserables were probably fined large amounts of money if they uttered a sound that wasn’t in tune.  

My goal was to make it through Anne’s singing, which I did, and it was beautiful, and I can see why she is up for an Academy Award.  She was brilliant!!!

But then my mind began to wander and the seat got uncomfortable and my popcorn was gone and I wanted to put my feet up on the chair in front of me, which I know is a no-no, and then there was nobody behind me so I pulled out my phone to check messages, ringer off, of course, finally I leaned forward and put my head in my hands.

Thomas:  “Sooo, are you enjoying the movie?”

AND THEN HE ABOUT PEES HIMSELF DYING LAUGHING!!!!!

Me:  “Yah, it’s great.  How much longer?”

Thomas:  “About 2 hours.”

So here’s the deal.  When Thomas and I go out on Saturday afternoon we kiss the girls, tell them we love them, and then tell them to get to cleaning the house b/c they don’t know when we’ll be back.  It could be short, it could be long.  At no point are we to get a phone call that involves anything less than my sister has cut off her arm, some strange person is in the house, the house is on fire, we’re talking a real emergency here, not she walked through my pile of dirt.

At this point I’m praying for an earthquake.  I look down at my phone and it’s blinking.  I’ve missed a call (b/c the ringer was off).  It’s the home number.  Thank you, God, but please let everyone have both arms.  I turn to Thomas and tell him it must be important so I have to take it in the lobby.  He just smiles.  Off I run to the lobby to save the day for my children. 

Apparently, we forgot to drop off the cake for the cake walk tonight at the Winter Carnival at church.  YES!!!!!!  Emergency enough for me!!!!!   I race back in tell Thomas I’ll be back to get him and run out the door.

The girls were so upset they had ruined “date day” by calling about the cake and I told them they had saved me from two hours of griping to myself about how this movie could have been only 1 hour and 30 minutes or less, if they would have just “said” their lines.  Everything else the same, background, actors, everything, just spit it out!

When I picked Thomas up after the movie I asked him if he liked it.  He said he did, especially after I left. 

All that matters is that I got to eat all the popcorn before I left and I got to see Anne Hathaway sing. 

I truly believe there should be some sort of notification when the movie is a musical.  I know they can’t use “M” because it stands for “Mature”, but maybe an “*” that lets you know this movie is going to take way longer than it really should because every single word will be in tune.

I think I’m going to read the book.