This Is Why I Am Not A Teacher

I thought I got lucky with lunch duty this week because it was a rainy day so it would be indoor recess.  Wrong!

This is how it works: 

There are usually 3 or 4 parents working the lunch duty, along with the “Lunch Lady” and the Athletic Director, Mr. Mears.

The lunch hour is broken down to three grades every 30 minutes:  6-8; 3-5; and k-2.  The kids come into the lunchroom and eat their nutritious meal (most of them).  They talk loudly, sometimes really loud and then Mr. Mears yells at them to keep it down.  We walk around opening milk containers, go-gurts, a thermos or two, grab them a spoon, encourage them to eat their fruits and vegetables and numerous other duties.  When they leave we have to pick up the garbage left behind and wipe down the tables, of course, as the grade level goes down there is more to clean.  I almost lose my mind because the dishcloths go back in the same bucket with really cold water and it often has food floating around in it.  I’m really thinking we are not “cleaning” the tables, but just spreading gunk all over the place.  I keep my hand sanitizer in my pocket and use it frequently.

If it’s a decent day the kids go outside and we just walk around making sure nobody beats the crap out of someone or does something else stupid.  When it’s a crummy day then the kids go back to their classrooms.  That is what happened yesterday.  After the volunteers clean up, we walk around to the rooms and keep them under control.  Usually you just have to poke your head in and the kids quiet down, well, everyone but the 6^th graders.  You know me, I go into the classes and start chatting them up.

During EVERY single class I was “monitoring”, Mr. Mears had to come in and tell the kids to be quiet.  I didn’t even notice they were loud.  When your personal chaos level is so high you’re not really aware when things get out of hand.  I think this might be why I am never asked to chaperone field trips.  The teachers would just be managing my behavior along with the nice, calm girls and boys.  I’m sure all the teachers enjoyed their students being ramped up during their lunch break.  You are welcome, I’m a giver.