A Horse's Ass

For five extra credit points in Religion class, I will get up at the buttcrack of dawn to attend mass.

I will do ANYTHING for any amount of extra credit points in the 4^th grade science class.

ANYTHING!

I’ll even stick my arm in a live cow.

I’ll feel its stomach wrap around my arm and tighten and contract.

I will have a momentary flash of panic that I will be sucked into the cow and come out the other end as part of a cow pie.

Yah, that happened.  The flash, not the cow pie.

ANYTHING!

I’ll even take an “I Love You” picture with Stephanie and a horse’s ass.

Notice I said “AND”. 

I’m definitely NOT saying Stephanie is a horse’s ass. 

She’s actually my favorite person because she poured hand sanitizer all over my hand and arm (I know I was wearing a glove, but condoms break, why can’t a glove?)

I’m just pointing out that we were standing next to a real horse’s ass.

Is that not the coolest thing?  The bones, not the horse’s ass.

Loved the open house at the VetMed.

I’ve said “horse’s ass” five times in this post.

Here’s my thoughts about that…

“Mom, if I can say “jackass” and it’s an animal, actually from the equine family, the same as a horse, can’t I say “horse’s ass” without offending someone?

I say, “YES”.

So mom, using my logic, it’s okay to push “like” on this post.

FYI everybody, my mom has class and doesn’t swear (well, rarely), so she won’t push “like” on any of my posts with a swear word…no matter how much she likes the post.

Right, mom?

And that’s why I like you.

You have morals and you stick to them, even when I’m funny.

Horse’s ass.  Not my mom, the picture.