My Favorite Doctor

How do you even begin to explain the love you can have for a man?

1.  He has to get your sense of humor from the very beginning.

2.  He also needs to appreciate the little things you do for him to make him happy and comfortable.

3.  He has to be patient when you talk and talk and talk and talk.

4. He has to listen and listen and listen and listen.

5.  He has to give you his thoughts after you’ve talked and he’s listened and assure you that all is well and everything will be ok.

6.  He has to tell you that nobody can see your flaws, unless they are standing close to you, and then they just add character.

7.  He can never hurt you.

This is the email I received from the opthamologist when I got home (this guy has a lot of time on his hands)…

Krista,

I was little nervous when the first thing you asked me was if I had a sense of humor and could be talked into doing things.  I do think that was funny.  I don’t get many people in my exam room who are eager to do crazy things.  You kinda scare me, but I think I like it.  I think that’s hilarious that people say that about you.  I’d have to agree.

I’m glad you told me about your left armpit.  Since I work from the right side it wouldn’t be a problem.  That was, however, a little strange.  Also, thank you for telling me the trick about using anti-bacterial hand sanitizer as a quick deodorant.  That’s handy. Ha! Ha! Ha!  I do have a sense of humor.  Thanks for shaving your legs, but I only work from the neck up, so you were ok.  I apologize that it was not necessary to take your clothes off and wear the robe.  Sorry.  Once again, I do only work from the neck up.  I must also apologize that we are not a souvenir shop and didn’t have anything for your give-away.  One quick question, when the nurse went back to the room she couldn’t find the curette.  You didn’t happen to see it, did you?

I wanted to reiterate the conversation we had in the procedure room.  This is a chalazion and at this point it has created a membrane and secured itself on the underside of your eyelid.  It will not go away, but might change size.  They tend to fluctuate, but it will definitely be permanent.  I heard you when you said that because you had cancer you are more vigilant about weird things that happen to your body, but I am 99.99% sure that it is not malignant.  The armpit thing…well…that’s weird.

Once again, to the normal person your eye will look fine.  When your eyelid was pulled taut it was much easier to see, but that position isn’t natural, so it would be difficult for most people to notice it.  Really, the only people that look that closely at you would be your mother and your husband and I don’t think they would mind.  I will explain, once again, that I am not a plastic surgeon and cannot give you an eyelift.

At this time, I will again recommend that we hold off on removing the chalazion.  If it starts to hurt or impede your vision we will address the situation at that time.  In the future, The Google, as you called it, can be much scarier than real life, so watch with that in mind.  I assure you that zombies are not real and you do not have to worry about the zombie apocalypse, and no I could not see your brain when I looked into your eye, so I don’t know if it would be especially desirable to zombies.  You ask the most interesting questions.

I would like to thank you for saying that I am your favorite doctor.  You were by far my favorite patient today.

Enjoy the rest of your day.  It was nice meeting you.

Sincerely,

Your Favorite Doctor

…and this is why I love this man.  He is awesome!!!  Thanks for your prayers, they definitely worked.  It was a bit terrifying to see the curette and imagine it scooping out the chalazion and probably my eyeball. I think I might keep it as a memento of my favorite doctor, instead of use it as a give-away.