Tornado Alley

Dr. Tornado,

First off, thanks for indoctrinating us into tornado season.  It was something I was looking forward to.  Or not.  I have been informed that we are in “Tornado Alley”.  Great.

Second, I think I kinda pulled one over on you since I recently put the “Weatherbug” app on my cell and when the tornado warning was issued my phone went absolutely insane. I didn’t even know it could do that.  I usually keep my phone downstairs, but for the next few months I’m going to keep it next to my bed.  Also, about 20 minutes before the warning I got the phone number of Erin who is “in the know” about all things tornado.  She has connections.  She suggested I get to the basement since I’m a newbie. Being able to have access to the path of the storm on my computer (unless the power went out) and my phone was awesome.  So I had a few advantages that you didn’t know about.  Booyah.

Things that drove me crazy about this whole experience:  trying to wake two kids that were in the deepest sleep ever and maneuver them into the basement was difficult (Em was reading in her room); trying to find the cats was annoying and if that siren had been going off the cats were on their own (I was informed Saturday morning that it did go off, but I didn’t hear it over the sound of the water running through the pipes because the washing machine and dishwasher were running.  I couldn’t hear a darn thing, next time I shut off the machinery as I run by.); convincing Olivia that Pandie (her cancer coping bear) would be fine and she couldn’t get him was difficult; three girls that were yelling at each other to “stop touching me” with their legs was really, really driving me crazy; arguing over who had to sit next to the toilet (Liv ended up there and before too long she had her pillow and head on it.  Gross.); Thomas being in Seattle while all this was going on was par for the course, me, once again, having to do everything.  I think he planned it.  Geesh; watching the older two play Backgammon was awful because it made me feel stupid; and having Liv sleep with me when we finally went to bed was…ugh (she snuggled right up to me and I was on the edge of the bed and had terrible hot flashes).

When we moved to Canada and had the first big snowstorm of the year we were supposed to be going to a party that day.  We looked outside and thought there was no way we could make it.  We called to cancel and they laughed at us.  By the end of our time in Canada we were pros and knew how to handle the snow.  I imagine our new friends here were having a good chuckle about my nervousness, but this is my frame of reference:  since 1953 there have been 68 tornados in Champaign, ummmm, in that same period the town I grew up in has had one.  You can understand my concern.  I was worried that my post on FB would cause lots of eye rolls, but when one of my Champaign besties, Kristen, didn’t give me a hard time (she was taking shelter in a neighbor’s basement.  Apparently, she didn’t have time to call me to make sure I was safe.) I figured it was pretty serious.    

Things I thought were funny:  we were in an enclosed space and a couple people had gas; one kid went to the bathroom and the other two FREAKED; my left armpit started smelling (I think it was the stress) and I didn’t have any deodorant.  I realize I was in a bathroom, but there was no way I was using someone else’s deodorant.  Gross; and when I chatted with my Dad on the phone he wanted me to run upstairs and grab the Partida Tequila because it’s his favorite.

I was super appreciative of all my friends who threw up some prayers to the Big Guy.  Thanks.

But the most amazing thing of all was when I walked downstairs the next morning.  I couldn’t figure out how you didn’t hit Champaign, but you got INSIDE MY HOUSE.  How did you do that?  You must be like Santa.  I want some freaking presents not a messy house.

Bite me,

Krista