And this is why nobody will run errands with me…..
I went to 7 different places Friday. You probably think that is impressive. Here are a few things you should know.
1.
Sears and Barnes & Noble are almost right
next to each other. Maybe a two-minute drive.
2.
The drive to the next four stores: Target, Penn Station, Staples and The Dollar
Store is about ½ mile. You can see all
four of these stores when you stand in one spot. They are that close together.
3.
The last stop was McDonald’s and it is about a two-minute
drive from the previous four stops.
4.
I was just doing returns and I knew exactly what
I wanted to buy in each store.
5.
If I had run in and out, like a normal person, I
estimate that I could have finished everything in about an hour.
Guess how long it took me….
3 HOURS
Do you know why it took me 3 hours?
Because I talk a lot.
Surprise!
Guess how many people I talked to (yes, I tallied it. I really did.)…..
You are not even close.
Try again.
You are getting warmer.
How many people would you have talked to in 7 stops?
Wow, that’s not very many.
Either you are all super efficient, not very friendly, or don’t like to
shop.
I talked to at least 45 people. I kid you not. I talked to 12 in The Dollar Store alone.
And here are a few of the things I did when I talked to
complete strangers:
1.
I held the door open for people (everybody does
this or should)
2.
I laughed and laughed about crazy things with a
bunch of people
3.
I learned that a guy was visiting his daughter
and he is from Erie, Pennsylvania and his daughter went to Penn State. We hit if off marvelously and the whole
family will be coming for dinner tonight.
WE ARE…..
4.
My awesome friend, Garth, gave me the 50% off
employee discount Friday at Penn Station because he said he likes my personality
because I’m really strange. We have a
unique relationship.
5.
I caught a one year old as she was falling out
of a shopping cart. Her grandma was
very, very thankful.
6.
I told a lady about some medication she could
get to help with hot flashes. She said I
didn’t look old enough to have hot flashes so she is now my new best friend.
7.
I let a very, very old lady in front of me at
the check out, which was incredibly long.
When her daughter told her she would pull the cart up and told her to
find a seat to sit down when she was tired I asked everyone in the line to let
her cut. She wanted to buy her own
cards, but we were all concerned she would fall over.
8.
The guy at B & N got me started on a new
book series and I read 6 pages and got goose bumps. I then called B & N and asked to talk to
the guy and told him he has ruined my life because I have a lot to do and all I
want to do right now is read the stupid book, which is called “The Rook”, by
the way.
9.
The Returns lady in Target and I high fived
twice and you’ll find out why in a different post. It is EPIC at least we thought so. We howled like crazy people.
10. I
had a very long discussion with the Sears cashier about how I was so impressed
with myself for knowing where the hidden cash register is and how I took
advantage of it on Black Friday. Walked
straight up to it. No line waiting for
me.
11. I
chatted with a mom, her daughter and her granddaughter after we played the
“Shopping Cart Dance”. What’s the
“Shopping Cart Dance”? “Oh, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes. It’s that thing when someone
is pushing a midget in a shopping cart and they are coming right at another
shopping cart and then they both go the same way to avoid each other and then
back the other way and sometimes they do it like four times.” I’ll miss you Stefon.
12. I
gave the McDonald’s girl $20 and drove away without my change for a $1.09
coke. She caught me at the next window. I’m
glad she is a fast runner.
13. And
I called Thomas four times and sent emails to 2 people, which I’m going to
count as 6 more people. That takes the
total up to 51.
I have to run some
errands later in the week. Does anyone
want to go with me? I could introduce
you to a lot of new people.
